Create Belonging

How Christians and churches can create belonging for children and foster care.

One of my favorite sounds in our house is the laughter that fills the dinner table. I’m not sure how dinner works in your home, but in ours, everyone has “their seat.” Not because we ever assigned them but because, for one reason or another, that’s where they decided they belonged.

“I sit next to Dad.”

“I always sit by Mom.”

It’s funny how those little habits form, but that’s part of what makes home feel like home. It’s knowing there’s a seat with your name on it, a place where you’re wanted, and people who are glad you showed up.

That is what every child longs for. It is written into the human heart, this desire to be known, loved, and kept. But for many children in foster care, belonging has been broken.

Foster care, by its very nature, disrupts a sense of belonging.

It uproots a child’s world, their school, their friends, their routines, and often the very people they trust most.

Loving Christians can’t erase that pain, but it can answer it. If the local church is meant to be God’s family on earth, then the church ought to be the one place where belonging is restored. It should be the place where kids who have been moved, shifted, and overlooked can finally find a seat.

Here are a few ways Christians and churches can create belonging for children in foster care:

NOTICE A NEED.

When Jesus saw the crowds, Matthew 9:36 says He was “moved with compassion.” Before He preached or healed, He took the time to notice people. He looked at people others overlooked. He saw their pain and responded with mercy.

That is where creating a place of belonging begins for us as well. Before we can help a child feel at home, we have to see them through the eyes of Christ, not as a project, a case, or a ministry opportunity, but as a person made in the image of God.

I learned early in ministry that small talk has a big impact. The moments that seem ordinary, such as taking the time to ask someone their name, remembering what they told you last week, or simply stopping to make eye contact, can open the door to trust. Those small conversations say something bigger than words ever could: “You matter here.”

Jesus did not overlook people; He looked right at them. And when His church learns to do the same, it will become a place where children feel they belong.

NURTURE THE FAMILY.

Creating a place of belonging happens when the church comes alongside families. Strong families create stable homes, and stable homes provide a space for children to feel a sense of belonging. In other words, if you help a family, you inevitably help a child.

When a mom feels cared for, she has more emotional space to care for the child in her home. When a dad feels supported, he has more strength to show patience. When a church steps in to support the parents, the whole household becomes a kinder and stronger place.

Foster care, in particular, brings unique pressures. Between caseworker visits, therapy appointments, and emotional exhaustion, many foster parents live in a constant state of fatigue. That’s where the church can make all the difference. Schedule a foster family day off, have a meal dropped off on a Tuesday night, an offer to babysit so parents can rest, or a text that says, “We’re praying for you.” These aren’t just small gestures to parents and families who are emotionally exhausted; they are lifelines.

NAME THE TRUTH.

Children in foster care often wrestle with questions no child should have to ask: Why didn’t they want me? What did I do wrong? Where do I belong? Those questions cut deep because they’re really about identity.

That’s where the church gets to step in and speak a different message. We remind them they are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:14). That God knows their name and calls them His own (Isa. 43:1). That their story doesn’t end in loss, because Christ is a Redeemer who makes broken things new. (2 Cor. 5:17).

Every person in the church, every Sunday school teacher, nursery worker, youth leader, greeter, or friend, has the opportunity to speak life into a child who may have never heard it before. Simple words of Biblical truth and loving encouragement can rewrite what trauma has tried to engrave.

NORMALIZE THE PRACTICE.

Look for ways to make foster care and adoption a regular, visible part of church life. Does your church host baby showers for expectant moms? Most do, and that’s wonderful. But what if we also celebrated foster placements and adoption days with the same kind of excitement?

At our church, we’ve hosted baby showers for new foster moms and hosted adoption parties for families and children. Why? Because we want foster care and adoption to be part of the culture we talk about, pray about, and celebrate. When the church honors those moments publicly, it sends a clear message: this matters to God, and it matters to us.

But creating a place of belonging is not just about celebrating; it is also about equipping. Equip volunteers to understand trauma and respond with grace. Teach workers what to say and what not to say when it comes to a child’s story, appearance, or background. Words meant as curiosity can sometimes reopen wounds. Sensitivity and training help make the church a safe place to grow and heal.

Every child needs a seat not just at the table for dinner, but at the table of God’s people.

Foster care reminds us that the gospel is, at its core, an invitation to belong, to be welcomed, loved, and made part of a family. When the church lives that out, something sacred happens. Kids begin to see God’s heart in real time. They find a seat. They find safety. And maybe, for the first time, they find home.