Fostering With Our Kids

When our family first began considering foster care, I was both excited and nervous at the same time. One of my biggest concerns was for the children the Lord had already given us. We were a busy family of six. We had three teens, and our youngest was about to enter the youth group as well. The Lord had worked on my husband and my heart, and after much prayer, we decided to ask our kids what they thought about. They were immediately on board and so excited, but my fear was still there.

What if they feel left out?

What if they are just annoyed by a new kid in our home?

What if they think we love someone more than them?

What if they don’t want to help?

What if schedules overlap?

What if we have to say goodbye?

What if this traumatizes them for life?

What I can tell you on this side is that fostering was one of the best things our family has ever done together. We have always told our kids that our family is a team, and a team means everyone works together. Making the decision as a team to love hurting children has impacted our biological children in a way that was beautiful to see.

God has given them each a heart for these children in difficult situations and they embraced each child that came into our home like they had always been there.

Sometimes that was forever, and sometimes just for a moment. But the way they love, and help, and support is something that only God could do through them.

I still remember our first goodbye like it was yesterday. It came quickly with no warning. The “system” said he would be with us for a long time, but one ruling from the judge came, and he was ordered to be sent home that same day. We had so many emotions. How to tell our kids, what to pack, and what just happened. We all got together that same afternoon to say goodbye to this little guy who had changed our lives. The heavy hearts felt hard to bear, and there was nothing we could do or say to make it better. I remember thinking, This is too hard, too much, but God had other plans. We reminded our kids, and ourselves, that God loves

these kids more than we ever could. We took a little time off (a couple of weeks). Then the kids started asking, Are we going to take another baby? When will they call us again? Will it be another boy or a girl? I thought, these kids get it. They realized that it wasn’t about us or our feelings. It was being what that little boy needed for as long as he needed it. And that is what we did. We took a family vote, and just a couple of days later, we were able to take in a little girl who would be part of our forever family.

Here are just a few things the Lord taught them through our foster care journey.

1. Unselfishness

They learned how good the Lord had been to them, and then they learned to share those blessings with others. They learned that there is a big world full of people who need their love, time, and support. Their eyes were opened to many things they had never thought about or experienced before. Many times, our kids feel like the whole world revolves around them. Their sporting event, play, or just their free time. Foster care puts so many things in perspective, even for our children.

2. Patience

They were so patient with the littles in our care. Most of them came as babies, and all of our kids wanted to help, hold, and feed them, even when that came with spit-up. Even when one of our babies had colic and would cry for what seemed like forever in the evenings. Evenwhen babies became toddlers and were very demanding. They learned to put their feelings aside and give grace to the children in our care.

3. Family

They learned that family isn’t always blood. They called each of the kids their brother or sister. They welcomed them and accepted them from the beginning. They loved to introduce them to their friends or family at church. They loved unconditionally.

Even now, with our two oldest married and moved away, they still make time for their little sisters. They FaceTime and visit and let them know that they love them. As a mom, to read what my kids have written about foster care and how the Lord used it to shape and mold them, I am reassured that where God guides, he provides. He led our family into foster care and used it to make us all more like Him. He used it for all of us to realize that life is so much more than our comfort or routines. He wants to use each of us for His glory if we will only let Him.