Men in Foster Care

Why Your Role Matters

All kids, but especially foster kids, desperately need both masculine and feminine love. The Bible itself describes both. God says, “As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you” (Isaiah 66:13), and also, “Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him” (Psalm 103:13).

Children need both kinds of love, nurturing tenderness and fatherly protection.

The reality is, the child welfare space is overwhelmingly female-led. Caseworkers, therapists, and support staff are mostly women. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, about 84% of social workers are women (2023). That’s a gift, because it means children receive the feminine love they desperately need. But it also leaves a gap. Foster children need dads, too. They need men who bring protection, perspective, and presence. They need to see that men can be gentle without being weak, trustworthy without being distant, and present without being overbearing.

You are Not a Sidekick

Too many foster dads feel like they’re just along for the ride—as if fostering is primarily their wife’s calling and they’re the backup. But Scripture reminds us, “Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong. Let all your things be done with charity” (1 Corinthians 16:13–14).

Your role is not secondary; it is essential.

You are a protector, a nurturer, and a spiritual leader in your home. Your steady presence provides strength, courage, direction, and safety, things every foster child needs to thrive.

And let’s not forget the high calling given to husbands: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). That kind of sacrificial love—lived out daily in front of children—shows them what biblical manhood looks like.

You Won’t Feel Ready—and That’s Okay

Most men don’t feel fully prepared for parenthood of any kind, let alone foster care. Training sessions and support groups often feel geared toward moms, leaving dads unsure where they fit. But you’re not alone. God Himself promises His strength when we feel inadequate: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness” (Isaiah 41:10).

When Joshua was called to lead God’s people, he likely didn’t feel ready either—but God told him: “Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest” (Joshua 1:9). The same God who promised Joshua His presence promises it to you as well. Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s stepping forward in faith despite it.

Your Masculinity Matters

When it’s shaped by Christ, masculinity is deeply redemptive. Paul described his ministry like this: “Ye are witnesses, and God also, how holily and justly and unblameably we behaved ourselves among you that believe: As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children” (1 Thessalonians 2:10–11).

That’s a picture of fatherhood: exhorting, comforting, and guiding.

Foster children need men who model this balance. They need to see that strength and kindness can live together in the same man.

The Bible is clear: “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). That means your role isn’t just about rules and authority—it’s about nurturing, guiding, and pointing them to Christ. And even beyond your own home, Scripture calls men to step up for those without dads: “Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy” (Psalm 82:3).

Every child deserves to know a safe, godly man. Through foster care, you have the chance to rewrite the script for a child who may have never known.