When Everything Changes Overnight

Imagine being told tonight that you aren't sleeping in your own bed. You aren't going home. Instead, you're getting into a car with someone you barely know and being driven to a house you've never seen. Unfamiliar people greet you at the door. They may be kind. They may have prepared a bedroom. They may tell you that you're safe. But everything is unfamiliar. For many children entering foster care, this is some version of their first night. As foster parents, we've learned that there is almost no way to make that moment completely comfortable. You can prepare the room. You can buy the clothes. You can have the snacks

ready. But you cannot prepare a child for having their entire world suddenly changed.That's why the little things matter so much. Here are three ways that you can help:

Give Them Something That Is Theirs.

Some children enter foster care carrying very little. Sometimes their belongings arrive stuffed into a plastic or trash bag. Think about the message that can send: Everything I own can be thrown into the trash.

One simple way to restore a little dignity is to give that child something that belongs to them: a duffel bag, backpack, blanket, stuffed animal, journal, pajamas, or hygiene supplies. It doesn't erase what happened. It doesn't erase what happened. But it quietly says, "You matter, and your things matter too." That's one reason we started providing PLACED Bags. A bag can't fix foster care, but it can bring dignity and comfort to an incredibly difficult moment.

Here is a link to know more about PLACED BAGS: https://www.placedfamilies.org/story-1

Don't Overwhelm Them.

Our instinct is often to make a new child feel welcomed by doing more. More questions. More conversation. More activities. More introductions. But a child entering care has already experenced enormous change.

Sometimes the kindest thing you can provide is calm. Show them where things are. Give them something to eat. Explain what they need to know. Let them ask questions when they're ready.

Give Them Choices.

Children entering foster care have usually had several major decisions made for them. Where they will sleep. Who they will live with. What school they may attend. When they can see their family. They have very little control. So give some of it back. "Would you like the blue blanket or the gray one?" "Would you rather have cereal or a sandwich?" "Do you want the door open or closed?" These choices seem small to us, but when almost everything in your life feels outside

your control, small choices can feel very big.

Sometimes showing the love of Christ begins with something incredibly ordinary: a bag for their belongings, a warm meal, a few simple choices, and a quiet reminder: You are safe here. You are seen. And you matter.